Oh my darlings, let me tell you of the story of a little girl who has never been allowed to forget this
There lived a little Scottish girl of 12 years old, who, with all the authority of a 12 year old thought she was so cool (spoiler warning: she wasn't). And one weekend, she, with her parents, found herself in Manchester. Wandering around town that Saturday morning, her mother found out that Les Mis was in tour there. The little girl was aware of this "Les Mis" thing because of her mother. It was that thing she'd gone on a trip to and talked about how much she and everyone else cried at. And that thing she had a video of, and had tried to persuade the little girl to watch with her one Christmas. The little girl had asked at that point what it was about, heard "It's about this man called Jean Valjean who steals a loaf of bread to feed his starving family and gets sent to prison for 19 years and then breaks his parole..." and with words like parole coming up, she was definitely not going to sit through this boring sounding nonsense, but was going to go and watch a Boyzone video instead. Because that's what COOL kids do!
Anyway, back to Manchester. Since they didn't have any plans for that evening, the girl's mother marches right up to the theatre and asks if they have tickets left. The nice lady at the box office says that they have three tickets just released, that they'd been holding as disabled spaces until the day of the show - the very last three in the theatre. They're poor seats however, right in the back row of the upper circle and on the end of a row, so restricted view. Worst seats in the house! But the girl's parents have both seen the show before, so they're happy with that. The girl makes noises about "If it's so popular, we shouldn't really take seats away from people who really want it! Don't worry about buying one for me!". She gets ignored.
A few hours later, back at the hotel, the girl's mother is trying to force her to wear a smart outfit. Not something a totally cool (see previous spoiler) 12 year old wants to do. Cue a tween tantrum over "If I have to wear this I'm not going!". And even once she loses that argument, she begs "Can't I just stay here and watch tv? It'll be much better". The mother holds firm.
Later still, they're sitting having a light dinner in the cafe across the road from the theatre and the little girl again pipes up "Can I just stay in this cafe in the centre of a big scary city on my own for 3 hours rather than going to the theatre?" "Nope, you're coming" comes the reply.
It still doesn't stop the whining however "Can I take my walkman in?" "No". "I don't want to go! I don't want to see some stupid French opera that I'm not going to understand!!!!!"
The mother must be some sort of martyr for dealing with this, even sweetly offering to buy a programme for the child. "Why would I want one of those? I'm not interested in this!"
And so, she is eventually wrestled into her seat, pouting with every inch of tween melodrama. And the show begins....
Midway through act one, her mother leans over to comment "That lady was the little girl in the last scene". The grumpy response comes "I know mum! Shush! I'm trying to watch!"
And then the really cool policeman sang a really cool song.
And then some really cool guys with puffy shirts and funky flag belt sashes sang some cool songs about overthrowing authority!
And then this chick sang a song about loving a guy who doesn't love you back! IT WAS LIKE SHE TOTALLY UNDERSTOOD ME!...I mean the little girl....
And then everybody died.
And then everybody came back.
And she was Not Going To Cry.
Cool people do not cry at the theatre.
There was totally not water in her eyes. And she was totally not biting her cheeks ridiculously hard to keep sobs in. Nope. Not this girl.
Just like it wasn't that girl who sang the 4 lines of Do You Hear The People Sing she had managed to pick up all the way on the hour long car trip back to the hotel.
Some time overe the next few months the girl's mother offered to show her the video that had once been offered. The girl said yes this time. The video mysteriously disappeared soon afterwards. The music coming from the girl's room everyday while she did her homework surely had nothing to do with it. And the same happening to the Original London Cast album her mother found, well, that was surely a coincidence. By the time her 14th birthday rolled around, and the girl was asked "What would you like for your present?" Well, she had maybe decided that being cool was the most important thing, because asking for a trip to London to see Les Mis again was the only thing she wanted. It was on that very trip that she bought a very big book full of rambles, because if there was MORE to know about that cool inspector who was totally not a bad guy, and those awesome dudes with the rousing songs who wanted to overthrow things, then she HAD to have it! And so, happily, she went along to the show again, and mouthed along to all of the words, laughed unselfconsciously at the jokes, fell madly in love with a pretty blonde revolutionary and the actor who played him, and maybe let a few tears fall. Just a few. I mean, you can't turn off being cool that easily...
So yeah....completely fictional story....
I'd never behave like that....
And surely, if I did, my mum would never let me forget it.....oh wait....she doesn't!