A bit of fun...

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Inspector Karamazov
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A bit of fun...

Postby Inspector Karamazov » Sat Mar 13, 2010 6:18 pm

Ok, so I was linked to this site from an Ad on TVtropes, and it's provided hours of fun..

It's a site for personalized (trashy) Romance novels, but hilarity ensues when you use character names a-like so.

For instance, he's the book summary it came up with for me:

A college campus is the setting for Vampire Kisses and where Inspector Javert and Marius Pontmercy first cross paths. It’s love at first sight, but as they become closer, Inspector discovers that Marius has a horrifying secret – he’s a vampire doomed to a bloodthirsty immortality!
Although Inspector senses danger beneath his soft-spoken manner, and even after Marius himself warns her away, Inspector is drawn to this creature of the night and loves him as she has loved no other.

Slash fic has never been easier!

"Where should the shout of love begin, if not from the summit of sacrifice?"

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ivrogne transfiguré
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Re: A bit of fun...

Postby ivrogne transfiguré » Sat Mar 13, 2010 6:59 pm

Ooh, I like this. Especially for Marius and Cosette, just because it fits so well and yet so badly.

Chapter One ... Cosette & Azelma reminisce

"Cosette, do you remember that prank we pulled on Marius Pontmercy during high school?"
"Which one? There were so many. I'm surprised the guy has remained sane after all these years of practical jokes." Cosette began to grin, thinking back to the fun they'd had with their pal Marius.
"You know, the time when the guys were at gym class and we slipped into the men's change room and swapped his underwear for a pair of lace panties!"
Laughter erupted from both ends of the telephone line.
"I remember peeking around the corner of the change room and watching Marius walk from the showers with a towel wrapped around that slim body of his. I'll never forget the look on his face when he reached into his locker and pulled out those black, lace panties," Azelma was barely able to contain her laughter.
Cosette remembered it only too well, and if memory served her, Azelma was the one that had master-minded the idea. "Yes, but do you remember how he retaliated?"
It took Azelma a few seconds to recall . . .

Chapter Three ... Cosette & Marius dance

"Cosette, what's going on?" Marius asked, as he slowly spun her around attempting to keep a clear view of his table. "What's with this game you're playing?" All he wanted to do was end the dance and get back to his girlfriend Éponine.
Cosette laid her head on his shoulder, positioning her lips a breath away from his neck, her long, dark brown hair gently brushing against his cheek. Without missing a beat, she answered, "I'm not up to anything," she said innocently. "It's been a long time since I've seen you and I just wanted to say hello and have a dance with my buddy. Is there any harm in that?"
He didn't believe her - not in a New York minute. "Wrong answer," he said, his impatience growing.
Cosette gently brushed her warm, wet lips against his neck.
"Stop that!" he pleaded, glancing again at Éponine to see if she was watching. His girlfriend's eyes glared back at him from their table. She hadn't missed a thing. The glance spoke volumes - the rest of the evening was going to be hell.
Cosette, once again, moved her lips ever so slowly along his neck. "That bothers you?" she said, in a soft, sultry voice. . .

Chapter Nine ... True love finds its mark

"Marius, I really enjoyed myself this afternoon. Would you care to come in for a bite to eat?" Cosette asked, as she unlocked the front door to her home.
Marius stood watching as the fading sunlight caught the ends of her dark brown hair, turning them a golden hue. The whole time they were together, the feelings that had been hidden for so long suddenly came rushing back to life. Every turn of her head, the brush of her arm, even the sound of her laughter, made him want to hold her and smother her with kisses. And those breath-taking brown eyes.
"Hello, Marius! Are you there?"
His face suddenly flushed, making Cosette laugh. "Sure, I'd love to come in. . .I thought you'd never ask," he said, smiling broadly, climbing the steps and entering into the foyer.
Cosette took his coat and hung it next to hers...

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Aurelia Combeferre
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Re: A bit of fun...

Postby Aurelia Combeferre » Sun Mar 14, 2010 4:54 am

Crack fic becomes so much better. Yes, a tribute to the *oddest* crack pairing to come in the fandom... :lol:

Éponine is persuaded to give online dating another try

Éponine viewed Azelma suspiciously, with a blue-eyed gaze as she grabbed a chair from the kitchen table and joined her friend in front of the computer. “What are you up to?” she asked knowing Azelma all too well.
“It’s Discreet Dates dot com.”
“Yeah, so.”
Azelma turned, with a mischievous grin.
“No, Azelma! I told you, I’m done!”
“Okay, so don’t get mad yet,” she pleaded.
“No way, Azelma! Never again! Remember all that talk about trying too hard?”
“Well, I didn’t say don’t try at all! I’m worried about you. You haven’t been on a date in nearly a year-”
“Six months and I haven’t had time. Azelma, we have to get our new business off the ground,” Éponine protested, running a hand through her dark brown hair.
Azelma ignored her friend’s interruption, not missing a beat, “Seriously, Éponine, I’m thinking you're turning into a hermit and it's time to drag you out of your shell!”
“You’re exaggerating, as usual. Besides, the memory of Melroy bringing his mother on our first date still haunts me.”
“I think Discreet Dates can help."...

patria and Maximilien: An anonymous online chat---any guesses as to WHO these two actually are?!

patria: Why are men so infuriating?

Maximilien: If you can tell me why women are so bewildering then maybe I can answer your question.

Éponine gazed at the screen of her laptop as she sat at the head of her bed, still dressed in her robe, sipping coffee.

patria: The age-old argument. I guess we’ll never figure it out.

Maximilien: What fun would it be if we did? I mean if I knew the mystery of why the sight of a beautiful woman makes me weak and warm all over, or why her scent and the touch of her velvety skin on mine drives me wild with desire, maybe the magic would be lost.

Stirred by his words Éponine inhaled deeply before responding.

patria: Good point… but I still hate men sometimes.

Maximilien: There’s a fine line between love and hate, patria. You’ve just got to figure out how, and when, to cross it.

And inevitably how they meet---don't look at me, the generator did it! :lol:
“Can I get your coffee?” Antoine offered, his striking blue eyes locked onto hers as they both moved to the front of the line.
“No, really that’s okay. You’ve done enough. Thanks for helping things along. I would've been stuck in this line forever.”
“Nonsense,” he replied, and then spoke to the barista. “Large coffee, black please, and a...”
“I’ll have the same with a little cream,” she said, pushing an errant strand of dark brown hair from her forehead.
When the barista turned to prepare their drinks, Antoine offered his hand to Éponine. “Antoine Enjolras.”
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Enjolras. I guess chivalry isn’t dead. I’m Éponine Thenardier,” she replied taking his hand in hers and feeling her skin warm to his touch. Her blue eyes conveyed a spark from within and Éponine felt her heart skip a beat at the sight of his smile.
“Um…I was just wondering,” he hesitated, “would you like to meet for coffee again here tomorrow? A little earlier and we could probably get a table.”
Éponine smiled, pleasantly surprised by the invitation. In contrast to her usual cautionary nature, she decided to take a chance – there was just something about this man...

the fourth snippet is too traumatizing, and hilarious....
"...all aptitudes having equal opportunity; politically, all votes having equal weight; religiously, all consciences having equal rights."

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ivrogne transfiguré
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Re: A bit of fun...

Postby ivrogne transfiguré » Sun Mar 14, 2010 1:36 pm

Aurelia Combeferre wrote:the fourth snippet is too traumatizing, and hilarious....

Is that the one in the limo?... ;)

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Aurelia Combeferre
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Re: A bit of fun...

Postby Aurelia Combeferre » Sun Mar 14, 2010 1:43 pm

Yes. Unfortunately.

I tried the other generators too. Not so good....
"...all aptitudes having equal opportunity; politically, all votes having equal weight; religiously, all consciences having equal rights."

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Inspector Karamazov
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Re: A bit of fun...

Postby Inspector Karamazov » Mon Mar 15, 2010 8:29 pm

I try and use the most broken pairings I can:

Jehan Prouvaire is a nurse with a passion for saving lives and no plans for adding a different kind of passion in her life. That is, until she meets Jean Valjean, a surfin' doc whose dazzling good looks and dedication to his patients are everything she's been looking for.
They fall into a steamy relationship that seems like pure bliss ... until a secret from the past is revealed. One that could cause a heartache no medicine can cure!
So read on and get your prescription for passion, ER Fever!

Code: Select all

 They met and stood facing each other in the hallway, her blue eyes meeting his blue-eyed gaze. Jehan opened her mouth to speak but before she could, Jean wrapped his right arm around her waist and pulled her to the left, pushing open a door that led to the janitor’s storage area. They were surrounded by brooms, cleaning supplies and garbage bags were stacked from floor to ceiling. The area was tiny and Jean held her close.
     “Well, if this isn’t the ultimate cliché. A quickie in the broom closet!”
     “No quickie, Doctor,” Jehan stated firmly.
     “Ah. I see you want it slow and long then.” He put both arms around her waist and pulled her into him. She pushed against his chest trying to break the embrace, but he had already begun kissing the base of her neck, and she was weakened by his touch. He covered her face with soft kisses as he slowly rotated her body so that he stood behind her. His arms were wrapped around her, his hands joined together just below her navel.
     “Jean, we can’t do this.” it came out as a whisper.
     “Yes we can. It’s more fun if it’s dangerous.”
     Jehan's body shivered involuntarily with each touch of his lips on the back of her neck. She placed her hands on top of his, as he kissed and gently bit her delicious skin.
     Slowly he inched his hands up, and she guided him to caress her breasts. He unleashed each button on her shirt, one by one, until her blouse was open and he could feel the lace on her bra. The fabric was thin, and he gently stroked her nipples and felt them grow firm with his skilled attention. She moaned with pleasure and tried to resist, but his foreplay was overpowering. She leaned backward and the curves of their forms fit perfectly, as if they were two parts of a puzzle. He was holding her up with his body while his hands explored every inch of her. She tried to speak, while he continued arousing every sense of her being.
     “No, I’ll lose my job,” she said a little louder, but didn’t attempt to stop him.
     “No you won’t.”
     “Yes. I will!” Jehan suddenly turned to grasp his face in both of her hands. “We can’t do this. They already know about us!”
     “Huh? They? Who’s ‘they’?”
     “Administration,” she stated firmly and began to button her blouse...

"Where should the shout of love begin, if not from the summit of sacrifice?"

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Aurelia Combeferre
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Re: A bit of fun...

Postby Aurelia Combeferre » Tue Mar 16, 2010 2:51 am

Hahaha! Poor Jehan!
"...all aptitudes having equal opportunity; politically, all votes having equal weight; religiously, all consciences having equal rights."

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Re: A bit of fun...

Postby MlleImparfait » Wed Mar 17, 2010 7:49 am

This should not be this amusing....

Here we go. Combeferre and Enjolras get captured by Courfeyrac the pirate.

Chapter 1: The Beginning for Combeferre and Enjolras (Don't Forget Mabeuf!)

. . . Combeferre walked to the castle window and looked off in the distance to the harbor, her brown eyes bright with anticipation. Mabeuf rose from in front of the fireplace, and giving a big stretch, wandered over to Combeferre, eager for an affectionate back-rub.
“Come on, tell me every detail,” Enjolras begged. “And I’ll comb out the tag-alongs and shrubbery from your hair! How on earth did you end up with pieces of bramble bush stuck in that dark brown mop of yours and what’s that got to do with pirates?”
Mabeuf turned in circles, giving Combeferre a better opportunity to find that special spot to rub, just between the shoulder blades.
Chuckling, Combeferre turned and pointed to the harbor in the distance. “See that ship at the very end of the docks – the one with no sails; listing badly to one side? Well, that’s it.”
“A real pirate ship,” Enjolras sighed romantically.
Combeferre glanced toward her bedside table where she kept a folded piece of parchment containing an etching of Courfeyrac ,, the famous pirate Sea Wolf, wanted by authorities on two continents.
“Yes, a real pirate ship, but not the pirate ship. It’s not the Corazon de Oro,” said Combeferre, excitement evident in her voice...

Chapter five: Combeferre and Courfeyrac: A Heated Encounter

. . . Combeferre slapped the coin from his outstretched hand, sending it flying into the shrubbery. “We don’t want your blood money!”
Courfeyrac sighed, his eyes narrowing, then he suddenly reached out and grabbed Combeferre by her bodice string that, unbeknownst to her, had become untied and hung loosely from her dress. The lace tightened immediately as he pulled her towards him like a dog on a tether. Combeferre winced with surprise and embarrassment, her brown eyes ablaze.
He leaned close to her, breathing softly in her ear, making Combeferre almost lose her balance and certainly some sense. He paused just long enough to catch her off guard in anticipation, when he said, “You might want to keep the girls tied up,” and he tightened the lace and tied a knot.
Her face flushed and she slapped him hard on the cheek. Courfeyrac grabbed her by her dark brown hair and planted a kiss on her lips, long and sensual. When he released his grip, she was reeling, wild eyed as a scurvy dog.
“Take them away!” he ordered with a wave of his hand.
The buccaneer escorts grabbed the women’s wrists and roughly pulled them towards the path. Combeferre turned her head and caught the captain’s eye.
“Now I know why they call you Sea Wolf. I think you are despicable!” she yelled at the top of her lungs. She quickly looked to Enjolras, a look of terror in her eyes as they were dragged down the pathway.
Courfeyrac smiled, as he heard his crew laughing from afar; this was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. If circumstances were different, he would have asked her to join him. But he hadn’t even found out her name…

Chapter ten: Love Triumphs for Lady Combeferre and Courfeyrac

They stared at each other for a long while, their eyes saying the words they dared not speak. The air was thick with the potent energy of lovers discovering each other for the first time. Without breaking contact, Courfeyrac leaned back on his pillows and held out a strong hand, inviting and welcoming Combeferre to his bed.
As if in a waking dream, Combeferre took his hand and stood beside the bed, her brown eyes never leaving his. Squeezing his hand gently, she let it fall and slowly started to remove her chemise, her body swaying with the sea as it fell away, feeling the cool sea breeze seductively kiss her skin.
His heart seemed to beat outside his body as Courfeyrac watched her undress in the moonlight. As each piece of cloth fell and he drank in more of her curvaceous, womanly form, he wondered if a man could ever tire of such a sight. Languidly, she removed the remainder of her undergarments and stood beside his bed, fully exposed and vulnerable, but with a quiet strength that caused Courfeyrac to hold his breath.
Slowly and gracefully, she climbed onto his bed, running her hands across his naked chest, relishing the feel of his athletic form beneath her fingers. Pressing her body into his, . . .

This.....wow. So weird. I'm still laughing over the mental image of Enjolras "sighing romantically."

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