Les Gutterables Strikes Back: Book Edition

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lesmisloony
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Postby lesmisloony » Sun Feb 17, 2008 1:45 am

I know there was one part in the fifth Harry Potter book that, when looked at completely wrong, is horrific... it's when they're in the Ministry and they're looking for... whatever it was Harry kept seeing in his dreams. They're trying to use a mAgIk knife to open some door, and the way it's worded is something like "Harry drew it out of his robes, thrust it in the crack, and started jiggling it up and down."

...idk.

Nothing Mizzish to add, tragically.

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Frédéric Dumont
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Postby Frédéric Dumont » Mon Feb 18, 2008 12:30 am

Oh yes... :D
We discussed that a few pages back, I think, there are several such passages.
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Schmerg_The_Impaler
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Postby Schmerg_The_Impaler » Mon Feb 18, 2008 8:33 pm

I found a few:

M. Gillenormand had no intercourse with his son-in-law

Well, I should hope not!

What had he seen to be so pleased, this relic of Mars? What had happened between this leg of wood and the other?

Everytime I get to this part of the book, I have to reread it five or six times to make sure I read it correctly. That's pretty dirty. (It's at the part where that old guy saw Cosette's skirt blow up and Marius is incredibly jealous.)

Also, the scene where Montparnasse jumps Valjean while Gavroche watches reeks of rape, but I don't care because it's one of my favourite scenes of the book. It showcases the awesomeness of Valjean and the... Montparnasse-ness of Montparnasse.
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Postby lesmisloony » Mon Feb 18, 2008 8:57 pm

THE VALJEAN/MONTPARNASSE SMACKDOWN IS MY FAVOURITE PART OF THE BOOK.

That is all.

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Frédéric Dumont
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Postby Frédéric Dumont » Tue Feb 19, 2008 10:13 am

Shows that Valjean can't be, er, laid that easily. Ahem. :lol:
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Postby lesmisloony » Tue Feb 19, 2008 11:32 pm

Schmerg wrote:
Victor Hugo wrote:M. Gillenormand had no intercourse with his son-in-law

Well, I should hope not!


I just noticed that... and practically died laughing.

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Aurelia Combeferre
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Postby Aurelia Combeferre » Thu Feb 21, 2008 1:11 am

:shock:

*headdesk*

That's a difficult one to top.
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Postby Schmerg_The_Impaler » Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:56 pm

Here's a few more I found, but they aren't as good:

The evening before, Marius, in a transport, had pressed Cosette against the wall.

This isn't so much dirty as out of character, and I have to wonder if I'm interpreting it right and, if not, what else it could possibly mean.

How well the child's tongue is hung!

Again, not precisely dirty because it uses the word 'tongue' and breaks up any potential ambiguity, but the phrasing seems a little... odd.

"Whatever may be your opinion, whether you are for the fat cock like the Canton of Uri, or for the lean cock, like the Canton of Glaris, matters little."

I feel really, really dirty posting that one.

"Those are naughty words. The first time anybody gives you a suck, they should wipe your mouth better."

I have no idea what Gavroche meant by this one... it doesn't even make sense.

"A man without a woman is a pistol without a hammer; it is a woman who makes the man go off."

That sage Bossuet...

He felt a warm stream, which came from Marius, flow over him and penetrate his clothing.

:shock:

I'll probably have some more to post soon...
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Postby lesmisloony » Fri Feb 22, 2008 8:59 pm

Schmerg wrote:
Vicky Hugo wrote:The evening before, Marius, in a transport, had pressed Cosette against the wall.

This isn't so much dirty as out of character, and I have to wonder if I'm interpreting it right and, if not, what else it could possibly mean.

Haha, I remember having trouble with that one when I read my first Brick, which was a Charles E. Wilbour. And I went and checked my Fahenstock... apparently that's the one you have.
And Norman Denny just makes it even worse:
Norman Denny wrote:The evening before, Marius, in a moment of rapture, had pressed her against the wall.

:shock:
(Also? When I opened my Bricks, both of them opened up to the page right before that moment. EERIE, right?)

Ahem. Someone please 'splain that passage to us, kthnxbye.


ALSO.


He felt a warm stream, which came from Marius, flow over him and penetrate his clothing.

CONTEXT?!?
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Postby Schmerg_The_Impaler » Fri Feb 22, 2008 9:11 pm

Quote:
He felt a warm stream, which came from Marius, flow over him and penetrate his clothing.


CONTEXT?!?

Valjean was carrying Marius through the sewer and the poor chap was bleeding onto him.
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Frédéric Dumont
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Postby Frédéric Dumont » Fri Feb 22, 2008 9:50 pm

A fine collection (pulled from underneath a Brick...)! :lol:

Schmerg_The_Impaler wrote:
"Whatever may be your opinion, whether you are for the fat cock like the Canton of Uri, or for the lean cock, like the Canton of Glaris, matters little."

I feel really, really dirty posting that one.


:D I grew up with the story of the cockerels (better not call them cocks in this company :lol: ). Sorry to correct you and Vicky, but it's supposed to be Glarus, and the "lean cockerel" belongs to the people of Uri actually, while the "fat cockerel" is the one belonging to those of Glarus.
Are you familiar with the story?

And where is it referenced? Either I missed it or it got "deleted" from my Brick.
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lesmisloony
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Postby lesmisloony » Fri Feb 22, 2008 9:58 pm

^ I know I have no idea what the story is.

Plz to be sharing some of your knowledges?
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Schmerg_The_Impaler
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Postby Schmerg_The_Impaler » Fri Feb 22, 2008 10:24 pm

I've never heard it, either. I always just assumed that Grantaire was so drunk he was making up fake people and places.

This is the part of the story where Grantaire is drunk in the wine shop, Bossuet and Joly are eating oysters, the rest of the buddies have not yet arrived, Joly's head is stopped up, and "Barius is decidedly aborous.' It's in the middle of Grantaire's speech about "The oysters are spoiled, the servants are ugly. I hate mankind" or something like that. He goes on and on about nothing in particular for three pages and concludes that nothing exists but drink.
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Aurelia Combeferre
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Postby Aurelia Combeferre » Fri Feb 29, 2008 3:36 pm

The thing about Marius, Cosette, and the wall? I'm not quite sure, but I think Marius must have been so absent minded, or dreamy that while talking to Cosette (which was mostly what he did anyway), he didn't know they were getting too close to the wall?

I didn't see anything overly dirty in that passage till you pointed it out, btw.
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Postby Frédéric Dumont » Fri Feb 29, 2008 9:19 pm

Ok, I'll provide some, ahem, cocky education. :lol:

The story takes place in the Swiss cantons (=provinces) of Uri and Glarus. Back in those days, what later became the cantons were "states" in their own right, connected by different treaties (Switzerland as we know it today became a state only in 1848). The border between Uri and Glarus is a mountain range, and the people of Uri and Glarus were quarreling over a meadow that could be reached by steep paths from either side. So they decided to make a contest over who it belonged to. Each canton would send a runner, and the border would be where they met. The runners should start at the first cry of the cockerel.
So the people of Glarus in the village next to the pass picked a cockerel and fed him well, while those in the village over at Uri hardly gave him anything. Naturally the hungry cockerel woke long before the well-fed one, and this was how the runner from Uri had a good headstart, and thereforemost of the meadowlands up in the mountains belonged to Uri.

Of course, this is just a story, mind you.
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I am the lawrr and the lawrr is not mocked! *growl*

THE BLOOD OF THE SPAMBOTS SHALL WATER THE MEADOWS OF FRANCE!!!


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