Things I Am Not Allowed to do on the Barricades

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Roses for Ophelia
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Things I Am Not Allowed to do on the Barricades

Postby Roses for Ophelia » Sun Dec 05, 2010 4:26 am

I saw this on a Doctor Who forum, and figured we need out own version.

THINGS I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DO ON THE BARRICADES (AND SURROUNDING AREAS)

I'lll start.

--I am not allowed to tell Éponine that Marius 'really likes her' but 'is just shy.'
--I am not allowed to slip copies of the Orestia onto Enjolras' desk and hope he 'gets the hint'
--The proper response to the Nation Guard asking 'Who goes there?' is 'The French Revolution' not, 'Your mom.'
--I will not remark to Valjean that his silver candlesticks look fake.
--I will not tell Gavroche that he is an Artful Dodger rip off.
--I will not try to get Valjean and Fantine together. No one wants to think about the 1998 movie. Ever.
--Similarly, i will not tell Enjolras that Marius led the revolution better than him.
(wow, i've got too many of these)
Rivers belong where they can ramble...

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Marianne
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Re: Things I Am Not Allowed to do on the Barricades

Postby Marianne » Sun Dec 05, 2010 5:44 am

Haha, I think that once upon a time I did a "Things I'm not allowed to do in the back room of the Café Musain." *digs through LJ* ...aha!

- I must not fill Prouvaire's poetry books with dirty limericks, no matter how prettily he blushes.
- Enjolras' first name is not Louis-Antoine, nor should I spread around rumours that it is.
- Nor should I spread rumors that Enjolras writes Robespierre/Saint-Just RPS.
- There is no strict ban on attending meetings dressed as Delacroix's Liberty, but it still won't convince Enjolras to sleep with me.
- The opening words of the Marseillaise are not "J'aimons les filles et j'aimons le bon vin."
- I am not allowed to bring in biology textbooks to prove that Lamarck is already dead.
- Not allowed to ask Feuilly if he lies back and thinks of Poland when he's in bed with Courfeyrac.
- Not allowed to pass Pontmercy scraps of paper with "How do you keep a dolt busy for hours? Turn this paper over." written on both sides.
- Not allowed to give Joly lollipops that turn his tongue green.
- Alcoholics Anonymous did not exist in 1832, so I should stop leaving pamphlets tucked discreetly into Grantaire's belongings.
- Must stop referring to Bahorel as "Sir Not Appearing In This Musical."
- Bossuet's head is not an acceptable writing surface.
- Not allowed to attend meetings clad only in a tricolor sash.
- Definitely not allowed to suggest that Enjolras would have more success making speeches if he did so clad only in a tricolor sash.
- Most emphatically not allowed to write Enjolras' address on the wall of the Musain's bathroom with "come here for a good time" scribbled under it.
- Playing Guillotine instead of Hangman with the nearest available Ami when I'm bored is tacky and disrespectful, not an innocent leisure-time activity.
- Raising the flagpole on the barricade is a public service. "Raising my flagpole" on the barricade is not.
- Combeferre will probably not be amused if I look at his drawing of a moth and exclaim, "Oh! what a pretty butterfly!"
- Or if I give him a roll of tape for Christmas, "to keep his glasses together."
- Not allowed to draw a mustache on Grantaire's face while he's passed out.
- Or draw anything else for that matter.
- Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is not a suitable basis for a system of government.
- Must stop making scandalous allegations about the nature of Joly and Bossuet's relationship, as said allegations are shameless and deplorable falsehoods. Really they are. Truly.
- I am not to hawk t-shirts on 7 June with the slogan "I built a barricade in the Rue de la Chanvrerie and all I got were these lousy bullet holes."
- Not allowed to suggest the title "My Angst Ate My Suffering in a Meaningless Void of Existential Nihilism: A Poem" to Prouvaire, as he might actually write something for it.
- The words "carbine spanking" are never to leave my lips ever again.
- Asking Courfeyrac how many STDs he has is not an appropriate form of idle chitchat.
- I must not refer to Enjolras' vest as a "sniper magnet."
[Dieu] entend ta voix, ô fille des hommes! aussi bien que celle des constellations; car rien n'est petit pour celui devant lequel rien n'est grand.
- George Sand, Les sept cordes de la lyre

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Aurelia Combeferre
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Re: Things I Am Not Allowed to do on the Barricades

Postby Aurelia Combeferre » Sun Dec 05, 2010 6:12 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:

-I am not allowed to debate projectile motion and weaponry with Combeferre, especially when he is stitching up Courfeyrac's injuries...
"...all aptitudes having equal opportunity; politically, all votes having equal weight; religiously, all consciences having equal rights."

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Re: Things I Am Not Allowed to do on the Barricades

Postby Usefulbeauty » Sun Dec 05, 2010 6:25 am

I am so entertained right now. I also will probably be figuring out a way to play Guillotine hangman sometime tomorrow.

--I will not suggest that any one of Les Amis is also a Bousingot.
--I will not assume that they are and ask for an invitation to one of their naked parties.
--I will stop suggesting to Bahorel that red looks bad on him, even if it does.
--I will hold back on the rambling, drunken toasts, no matter how much wine I have had.
--Bearing in mind that many of the words to La Vie Boheme don't make any sense in 1832.
--I will not get Bossuet a wig for Christmas.
--I will not get Grantaire and Enjolras matching "I'm with the idiot -->" shirts for Christmas.
Let us read and let us dance--two amusements that will never do any harm to the world.
- Voltaire

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[type your name]
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Re: Things I Am Not Allowed to do on the Barricades

Postby [type your name] » Sun Dec 05, 2010 2:53 pm

- Must stop referring to Bahorel as "Sir Not Appearing In This Musical."


Bwahaha. :lol:

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MmeBahorel
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Re: Things I Am Not Allowed to do on the Barricades

Postby MmeBahorel » Sun Dec 05, 2010 4:59 pm

I also will probably be figuring out a way to play Guillotine hangman sometime tomorrow.


I would guess that you build the entire body except for the head. That, or the head is the *last* thing you add and it isn't attached :)

- I will not knock Feuilly's smock, or he'll clean my clock.
- I will not ask Combeferre the difference in carrying capacity of an african vs. european swallow.
- I will not suggest to Courfeyrac that he should go out with this hot chick named Musetta. The timing is probably off just enough that she's ten years old or something.
- I will not suggest that Éponine audition for Nouvelle Star (French version of Pop Idol/American Idol).
What kind of literature and what kind of life is the same question. - Tom Stoppard

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Re: Things I Am Not Allowed to do on the Barricades

Postby Knitterlywitch » Sun Dec 05, 2010 5:30 pm

To continue on the slight Monty Python tangent (remember, I haven't quite finished the brick yet)
- I am not allowed to refer to Enjolras as Dennis the Peasant.
-Nor am I allowed to call him Sir Galahad the Pure no matter how fitting this title may be.
- making insinuations about Enjolras and Grantaire, no matter how true it could possibly be, is not funny.
-Nor is calling Grantaire a Pessimistic Polly.
-I am not allowed to video tape JVJ and then add the song 'I fought the law and the law won' in the background.

I'm quitting here before I get my facts wrong.

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Rose In Misery
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Re: Things I Am Not Allowed to do on the Barricades

Postby Rose In Misery » Sun Dec 05, 2010 5:55 pm

To also follow with Monty Python theme:

-I will not suggest that it might have been a better idea to build a shrubbery, rather than a barricade.
-I will not mention the above to Jehan or he might get ideas.
-I will not tell the people of Paris that Enjolras is the Messiah (even if he does make awesome speeches and would look good in a loincloth).
-I will not wander around the barricade with a wheelbarrow yelling "BRING OUT YER DEAD!"
Les Miserables-the greatest thing since stolen bread!

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Re: Things I Am Not Allowed to do on the Barricades

Postby Knitterlywitch » Sun Dec 05, 2010 6:09 pm

I will not sing the happy song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tHoK1CpCaI) to Éponine.
I will not compare Marius and Cosette to Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley.
Even if it is a fitting comparison.
Also am not allowed to call Gavroche Colin Creevey.
Also not allowed to call Gavroche's sibbies Denis Creevey 1 and Denis Creevey 2
Also am not allowed to call the Thenardiers Alecto and Amycus
As a knitter, I am not allowed to tell Les Amis my name is Madame Defarge
Nor am I allowed to knit socks while at the barricade.
Even if they are for Gavroche.
Even if he needs them.

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Mlle Patria
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Re: Things I Am Not Allowed to do on the Barricades

Postby Mlle Patria » Sun Dec 05, 2010 9:04 pm

I will always use the restroom before we start a revolution because Enjolras will not accept "I didn't have to go then!" as an excuse.
Vive la France! Vive l'avenir!

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Knitterlywitch
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Re: Things I Am Not Allowed to do on the Barricades

Postby Knitterlywitch » Sun Dec 05, 2010 9:10 pm

Mlle Patria wrote:I will always use the restroom before we start a revolution because Enjolras will not accept "I didn't have to go then!" as an excuse.

LOL!!!

I am thinking about someone puting laxitives into Les Amis' food now!

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Re: Things I Am Not Allowed to do on the Barricades

Postby Usefulbeauty » Sun Dec 05, 2010 11:56 pm

Asking Combeferre a science question and they following every answer he gives with "Why?" is rude and annoying.
Let us read and let us dance--two amusements that will never do any harm to the world.
- Voltaire

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Knitterlywitch
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Re: Things I Am Not Allowed to do on the Barricades

Postby Knitterlywitch » Mon Dec 06, 2010 12:07 am

Calling the JVJ 'Dumbledore' isn't kind, nor funny. (Nor entirely accurate)
Neither is calling Javert Grindelwald.
Neither is insinuating things based on this.
Calling Cosette Cinderella isn't kind either.
Same goes for calling Éponine the ugly stepsister.
Calling Marius 'Prince Charmless' isn't funny, even if people laugh.

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Mlle Patria
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Re: Things I Am Not Allowed to do on the Barricades

Postby Mlle Patria » Mon Dec 06, 2010 1:02 am

I am not allowed to use L'aigle's head for a mirror even if it is shiny enough to function as one.
Vive la France! Vive l'avenir!

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Knitterlywitch
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Re: Things I Am Not Allowed to do on the Barricades

Postby Knitterlywitch » Wed Dec 08, 2010 5:34 pm

Am not to call Valjean grandpa.

Am not to call Enjolras or Gavroche 'kiddo' as long as I value my life.

Am not to tell others to do that, even if I don't like them (the person I tell).

Am not to huggle Gavroche, even if I think he needs 'a loving parent like me.'

Am not old enough, nor responsible enough to parent him.

Am not to assume Patria and Patricia are homophones.

Should I not listen to the above, I may not get upset if people laugh at me.

Also, making jokes about Enjolras having a girlfriend named Patricia counts as above and will likely not turn out well.

Am not allowed to assign 'Sympathy For The Devil' as Javert's themesong.

Nor to assign any of Les Amis the song 'Working Class Hero.' (Rest in Peace, John Lennon)

(can't think of more right now)


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