Love and Hugs - The Support Thread

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Inspector
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Re: Love and Hugs - The Support Thread

Postby Inspector » Sat Jun 29, 2013 6:47 am

I was on a walk with my mom, and she suddenly said this: "Every time I wake up, I feel sad." And she went on to tell me about how she hates her current job, how she's had so much trouble looking for a new one, how it's impossible to pay for my brother's college, how we'll have to worry about mine soon enough, how she wishes her brother could move out here for sure...And I knew she felt all of this, yet it was still sad to hear it. Especially that it's the first thought on her mind every morning. I feel guilty for existing, being another child to pay tens of thousands of dollars on just for an education, not being old enough to get a job or drive a car, making my parents suffer through miserable jobs to make a few scraps of money each week. There's a little bit more now, but only because my mom is juggling two stressful part-time jobs. I feel like there's a dementor hanging over us, but sucking out money instead of happiness. Or both, however it may be. And what can I do about it? What am I supposed to do when almost everything my mom would have wanted for her life is not working out? What is there to do but wait around, praying for a miracle?

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Re: Love and Hugs - The Support Thread

Postby Rachel » Sat Jun 29, 2013 6:57 am

Try to understand when your parents can't buy you something nice, and just try to be as helpful and considerate as possible. And let them know that you know they're trying. That's all you really can do.

I know it's hard and that it sucks not to have money, but at the end of the day you have each other, and you all just have to be each other's little bit of light to keep you guys going. It's not much, but it's something.
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Re: Love and Hugs - The Support Thread

Postby freedomlover » Sat Jun 29, 2013 1:38 pm

I'm sorry Speckles :( my parents do the same thing at times...



My Combeferre activist friend told me that because of the current political climate, people usually do not elect current activists to public office. In about 6 years I will be old enough to run for the House.

I know I'm going to have to stop activism before than, but just don't want to betray Patria or my followers "Les Amis de la Liberte" in doing so. In a way I'm stopping it so I can continue at a higher level. But at the same time--- Patria needs me, and so many hve left us and left our cause lately. I'm the leader that holds this little group together.
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Re: Love and Hugs - The Support Thread

Postby Aurelia Combeferre » Sat Jun 29, 2013 1:44 pm

Hope things get better Speckles.

Em, sometimes what we think we *ought* to do now will be different from the need that arises when the right time comes. We may be so used to living for our ideals in a certain way that we cannot appreciate a broadened horizon.
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Re: Love and Hugs - The Support Thread

Postby AriadneIS » Sat Jun 29, 2013 2:43 pm

Speckles - I know how that one feels, and I wish I didn't. And that you didn't either. :( But try to remember - you are far more than a drain on money to your mom. She loves you, and I bet she sees you and your brother as much, much more than another expense. Never feel guilty for existing, ever, and especially when you can cheer her up by being there.

Em - I'm not very familiar with the political world... but maybe running and being elected is changing the world in a different way, not necessarily a better or worse one. There you'll have more of a voice, and maybe even like that you can be the leader of your group.

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Re: Love and Hugs - The Support Thread

Postby freedomlover » Sat Jun 29, 2013 2:52 pm

Thanks Aurelia and Ari :)

@Ari: I really feel led to run for public office when i'm older, but at the same time--- I want to continue my work with the amis. Even though people always say it is very rare/never before happened for a current activist to be elected.
Mainly because (Combeferre said) the American people as of 2010 are in this "common man" mood-- and want somebody in an average occupation instead of political occupation. Perhaps this will all change by 2020, i'm not sure...
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Re: Love and Hugs - The Support Thread

Postby Gervais » Sat Jun 29, 2013 2:57 pm

Rachel wrote:Try to understand when your parents can't buy you something nice, and just try to be as helpful and considerate as possible. And let them know that you know they're trying. That's all you really can do.

I know it's hard and that it sucks not to have money, but at the end of the day you have each other, and you all just have to be each other's little bit of light to keep you guys going. It's not much, but it's something.

That's basically all I can say, Speckles. That, and I hope things get better eventually.

Maybe try to do both if you can, Em. First off, running for office doesn't necessarily mean you'll be elected, even without the activism being a "barrier," so by keeping up with your group you can at least know for sure that you have the ability to do things. Small things, yes, but still things. And if you get in office, well, congratulations, now you have a bit more power. Just a thought, though I admit that I don't know a whole lot about politics.
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Re: Love and Hugs - The Support Thread

Postby Inspector » Sat Jun 29, 2013 6:17 pm

Rachel wrote:Try to understand when your parents can't buy you something nice, and just try to be as helpful and considerate as possible. And let them know that you know they're trying. That's all you really can do.

I know it's hard and that it sucks not to have money, but at the end of the day you have each other, and you all just have to be each other's little bit of light to keep you guys going. It's not much, but it's something.


Yes, I suppose. I don't talk to them a whole lot, though, but I barely ever buy much anyways. Although it's weird because my brother and I just got smartphones, and now my mom wants one too, and we have all these fancy electronics, half of which were gifted to us (an ipad, my brother's TV and xbox, my laptop, all of which are old) or were from insurance money after a robbery (things like the family TV, computers, cameras, etc.).

Well, there is still the fact that my brother is away at college, so every day at dinner, when my dad's sitting in his seat, it's a reminder that he's not really with us, and is instead away somewhere, sucking up money with every step he takes. I know it's not his fault, of course. But it's true. So we don't have everyone together, actually.

AriadneIS wrote:Speckles - I know how that one feels, and I wish I didn't. And that you didn't either. :( But try to remember - you are far more than a drain on money to your mom. She loves you, and I bet she sees you and your brother as much, much more than another expense. Never feel guilty for existing, ever, and especially when you can cheer her up by being there.


Yes, unfortunately, but thanks. Although half her time is spent *not* seeing us, whenever she's at work, I'm cooped up in my room, and my brother is away. And now I've remembered, too, that we spent another chunk of money going to church camp, which I leave for tomorrow, plus another several hundred for the band trip back in April, and for speech nationals to Philly in May. We got a discount for camp by being at VBS, luckily, and I did some fundraising for band over the year, but the speech leaders blamed the kids if we didn't have enough money to pay for the trip. I didn't, really, but I went anyways. But ah well.

Thanks, too, Em and Aurelia and Gervais.

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Re: Love and Hugs - The Support Thread

Postby freedomlover » Sat Jun 29, 2013 8:04 pm

Thanks Gervais :)
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Re: Love and Hugs - The Support Thread

Postby Aurelia Combeferre » Fri Jul 05, 2013 1:27 pm

Just wanted to say thanks to you guys for supporting me through my several day slump. I got lucky today to finally just let the frustration out, rest, and talk to a friend about my problem. Somehow things make sense now. I think I could rebuild again. Thanks and love you all!
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Re: Love and Hugs - The Support Thread

Postby IBelieveInYou » Mon Jul 08, 2013 11:56 pm

I know this is stupid and whiny but I just returned from my graduation and i need some hugs not because i feel touched or nostalgic or because i'll miss school, but because for once again i realized how desperately i hate all the people with hom i have spent the last twelve years of my lfe and i can't be more relieved for finally getting out of there. Please tell me that's normal and i'm not just a horrible person.
Then I saw their trembling features warp and, gradually,
Their foreheads turn pale and dissolve in front of me,
And everyone, like a stream that flows into a sea,
Became completely lost in a dark immensity.

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Re: Love and Hugs - The Support Thread

Postby MamzelleCombeferre » Tue Jul 09, 2013 1:00 am

I don't think that makes you a terrible person at all Liv and it's a perfectly normal response in my opinion. Speaking from personal experience, by the time my graduation got here, I was so relieved to just be getting out of my old school and my old town that I couldn't even make myself really be excited for the actual graduation.
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Re: Love and Hugs - The Support Thread

Postby IBelieveInYou » Tue Jul 09, 2013 1:14 am

It was horrible. Seeing the people with the most horrible personalities getting the most praise from teachers and students, realizing you never really belonged there and that they're having fun at some nightclub after graduation when you prefer watching movies on a bed with your best friends or eating chicken nuggets on a bench with your boyfriend while you talk about it and you hear him say that yes he would hate them too if their behavior had been such during all those years -yes I am that antisocial. And today -yes, selfish and whiny and showing off- but I did feel like I was being mistreated by a school to which I have offered things in my way and I'm glad I'll never see anyone again. At least I hear that in university things work in a completely different, better way.
Then I saw their trembling features warp and, gradually,
Their foreheads turn pale and dissolve in front of me,
And everyone, like a stream that flows into a sea,
Became completely lost in a dark immensity.

Victor Hugo, The Slope of Reverie

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Re: Love and Hugs - The Support Thread

Postby Rachel » Tue Jul 09, 2013 1:45 am

I find the expectation of you to hate the school while you're in it and then be nostalgic after graduating to be completely ridiculous. Lots of people aren't sad during grad.
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Re: Love and Hugs - The Support Thread

Postby SpiritOfDawn » Tue Jul 09, 2013 2:46 am

Fully seconded.
Actually in our year book I was elected the one that everyone thought would miss school most (possibly due to my tendency to geekery ;-) )
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Not a day.
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