Well, that was depressing even for your writing. I can't really talk, but I think you should have developed the illness a bit more, it would have made it seem more realistic. And perhaps we cold have seen more of a decline in Combeferre if it were more spaced out time wise. That way, it would have been more wrenching.
Still, I'm glad that you finally posted it, and you need far more confidence, my dear.
"Citizens," cried Enjolras, and in his voice there was almost an angry tremor, "the Republic is not rich enough in men to incur useless expenditures."